I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
