wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize