Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
