dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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