If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My life is pants optional.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
