Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just invented taco cereal.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
