You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
