jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
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