wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
