i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
