I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
