I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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