My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
