fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
