meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
