shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
