Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
