Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
