Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
