My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
