my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
