God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
