this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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