I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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