I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
