just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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