Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
