well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Shame is for Republicans.
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