he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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