I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize