i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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