i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
