mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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