he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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