I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
