That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
