I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
