I hope mine doesn't look like that
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
