Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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