i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
