my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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