last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
