he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
