At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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