lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
there's paper in my vomit.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
