remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
