Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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