It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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