Well douche your snatch and let's go!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
