I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
