yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
