How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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