Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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