I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
