i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
