So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the day after is always just damage control
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
