Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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