And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
