Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize