Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
